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Afrocade movie reviews.

N. F. Kenure

I find out that one of my primary assignments for Afrocade is to review Nollywood movies.

Days after, and I'm on the phone with my new Ogas.

"So when can we expect your first review?"

"Well, I saw 'Mission Impossible' yesterday..”

The silence is palpable.

"This is  Afrocade, you can only review African content".


Hours later, I’m mulling about the fact that I’m going to have to actually watch a Nigeria movie to review it. When I accepted the job and was saying, "of course, of course, I can review movie na". I wasn’t thinking about the part where I have to actually watch the whole thing. Shit!

So, I check to see what’s showing at the cinemas and "Lara and the Beat" pops up. Nice preppy name. Sounds hip, young, maybe even fun. But then, I see it has Vector.

I’m sorry, there’s no nice way to say this but I’m not a fan.

I actually had tears come out of my eyes when I realized I’m going to have to see a movie with Vector in it.

Please god, let his acting be good and not remind me of Jay-Z with a sore throat.

Why am I giving all of this backstory? It’s so that if I say it’s good, then it probably is.

Don’t be elitists. Nollywood has made great strides in the last couple of years. It’s not always a prince in outlandish costumes falling in love with the house maid but only after he rapes her under the influence because  alcohol is an acceptable crutch for men.

If we don’t give them - Nollywood - a chance, how do we know if they’ve improved?

Besides, I need to be more supportive of creatives, especially as someone who's been writing one novel for over 4 years now. I better recognize that anyone who starts and finishes a story is well.. superior to me.

Even if it’s a shit story?

Yes, shit and complete stories, trump your unfinished novel every single time.

So, not only will I watch a Nigerian movie tomorrow, I will actually go to the cinema, pay out of pocket, sit down and watch a Nollywood movie and if I die there..

 At least there will be popcorn. 


Aug 13, 2018