Guess who's back?

N. F. Kenure

Guess who's back?

Me!

Where did I go you are probably not wondering. I'll tell you. I just got back from the drab land of "half ass".

Remember when I promised to talk about my relationship with coffee?

I stopped coffee because it was messing with my sleep ( I've had sleep issues since forever) and gave it up about a year ago.

On coffee, I am a whole different being, I am firm, spirited, fast and strong. I can only do about three good pull ups without coffee, and max out at 20 pushups. But when it hits the spot, I think to myself with each extra pull up "oh shit, this is not me". And I absolutely love it.

Until I start to shake. I can't sit still, I feel every molecule of my being vibrating, it only feels good as long as I keep working out. I've left the gym after three hours to go home and continue by running up and down staircases when I am on a coffee high.

I found that every time people asked where I got my energy from and I said it was coffee, they thought I was joking or exaggerating. I was not. They soon found that out when I stopped all forms of "beast mode" and began asking "what's happening to you na?"

"It's coffee o, it's coffee, I stopped drinking it."

I also realised without coffee, I don't love burpees so much. Burpees are actually quite horrible.

I would sniff the coffee capsules at home, longing for a "hit". Everytime I smelt it, I thought, "such a great, robust smell", when only a couple of years ago, I detested the smell of coffee.

It's been one year of going to the gym and being a tad too social, asking "how are the kids, work nko?" One year of checking social media between sets because I'm not quite as pumped as I could be.

But it all ended last week.

My sleep rhythm had became unbearable. It wasn't even insomnia, where I just couldn't fall asleep.This time, I would sleep in a haze, wake up confused and tired, and the only reason I was sure I had slept at all, were the frenzied dreams. I gave up coffee for sleep and still don't get a full night’s rest? I'm out.

My Fitbit

My averge sleep looks like this according to my fitbit.

So every morning last week, I drank a cup of coffee at 5:30 am, so that it had enough time to coarse through me when I get to the gym a little after 6. I’ve realised that perhaps because I am terrible at drinking water, ( basically just the 750ml workout bottle at the gym) the effects of the caffeine stay with me longer. I plan to counter this, by tackling my water consumption.

My first leg day was amazing, when my trainer got into the gym at 7am, it was amazing to reply with an "I've done that already" to everything he threw my way. And I wanted more.

So I am back and it feels so good.

I don't leave until my glutes are burning, my thighs are quivering, my shoulders are sore. I don't leave until every muscle I'm working on is d.e.a.d.

Well... Actually, the first day, after about ten minutes at the gym, my stomach began a light rumble. I forgot that coffee sometimes has a laxative effect and my gut was insisting not quite casually that it was time to go.

Coffee makes me poop