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What has two strong arms and is a total show-off?

N. F. Kenure

I promised to write about the different reactions I get from men to my physical antics at the gym. This isn't it. Instead, this is a preface, explaining quite simply that I am a total show-off at the gym.

It is what it is.

It was strange to realise, acknowledge and finally enjoy this new piece of self awareness. I began working out in my kitchen, and after about one year of jumpin up and down at Shaun T’s behest, I decided I needed to join a gym because I needed heavier dumbbells than what was available to me at home. It didn't take long for me to perceive that not only was working out alone at home stunting my progress, I positively blossomed in my new happy place.

Because I had an audience.


Caveat: In every other aspect of  my life, I'm a big ‘behind the scenes’ person. I like to blend in, every kind of standing out is unwelcome. Okay, except when I argue the points that fuel my gusto, then I'm aggressive and sputtering in your face.


When I workout at home, I don't meet planned targets. I stop if I feel like it, or if I'm panting too hard, or my water is not cold enough anymore. I’ve found that having other people around me keeps me strangely accountable to them. I love an audience.  I’ll throw in an extra set, do it longer, faster, stronger- even if it kills me and it almost has. Like yesterday, there was someone new at the gym. I looove new faces. Old faces are aware of my shenanigans. Anyway, a gym-friend who challenges me to up my pushups walked over and said,

‘You are doing one hundred with me.’ And I practically guffawed. I've never gone beyond 25 pushups at once, but there was a new face watching and so for the first time, I went past 25 and kept at it until 49.

I would have laughed if anyone had told me I would do almost 50 pushups. What is this life if we cant give it to them hot hot?


This morning I walked into the gym later than usual, somewhat tired already because I had to take my kids to school, and Lagos traffic will kill us all faster than Cancer. After warming up, I rolled out the large tire to the middle of the gym, a guy walks in behind me and says ‘don't hurt yourself now’ in that self serving way that many men think is ‘nice’.


I couldn't  help the big grin on my face as I felt a warm burst of energy coarse through me. The fates had obviously decided I was going to have a good day.


Nov 28, 2018