P.M. Owo
Two things have compelled me to write this article. First of all, it’s the end of the year and a lot of people are back home for the holidays. It’s been interesting to watch their interactions with their families and friends, and with each other. Secondly, a recent experience with an obnoxious interracial couple got me thinking; at what point does one start to lose themselves and go from amusing to intolerable.
For many in the diaspora, the length of time spent outside their native countries starts to affect the way they act and their outlook on life and this can manifest in may different and certainly – in some cases – strange ways; yes, I’m looking at you and you know who you are. This is not to say that we cannot be affected positively by our experiences. On the contrary, I think it is important to take the best of both worlds and make ourselves better, well-rounded people.
Let’s be clear, having stayed abroad for too long does not depend on the length of time but on the individual. For some, too long can be 2 weeks, for others 2 months or even 2 years. On the other hand, many people have spent over 20 years abroad and still remain the same people they were, at least at their core, as when they first left their country.
Below are 7 signs that you (or someone you know) has lived abroad for too long. The list is by no means exhaustive.
1. You’ve stopped converting your forex purchases to their Naira equivalent: Whether mentally or physically on a calculator, you no longer do a quick conversion of your impending purchase to Naira. In fact, in many cases, it is the other way around i.e. Naira has become your forex. This can mean one of several things; 1. You are too wealthy to care, in which case you’re good; 2. Your primary and secondary sources of income are all in forex and does not require any comparative assessment, or; 3. You have no ties to your country whatsoever that would require such an act, in which case you have definitely been living abroad for too long.
2. You’ve started pronouncing your own name to members of your family like a foreigner: The main reason for changing the pronunciation of your name is to make it relatable and easy for others to call on you when they want your attention. This might be necessary when you’re in a foreign country. However, the moment you catch yourself doing this with your mum and dad, then you have definitely lived abroad for too long. Dude, they know how to pronounce your frigging name, they’re the ones that gave it to you.
3. You’ve started pronouncing your name like the most local person from your traditional place of origin (your village), inflections and all: This may sound contradictory but stay with me here. The moment you start feeling the need to relate to the motherland in this way, then you have definitely lived abroad for too long. This is further manifested in your need to correct anyone (anyone!) who doesn’t pronounce your name properly, particularly white people.
4. You eat only Nigerian food when you are abroad: Like number 3 above, you may be trying to make a statement about your African-ness, or, you’re seriously homesick. Either way, you have certainly spent too long abroad.
5. You no longer eat any Nigerian food: In this case, you may be making a statement about your otherness (it stinks up the house?). On the other hand, you’ve probably forgotten how to prepare a proper local meal and do not miss it either.
6. You start to forget that Nigeria is a difficult place to live in and start to say things like; why don’t you just … as if it is perfectly normal. For example; why don’t you just get a new job, or, buy a new car, etc. This may be easy for some people but not for everyone and the moment you forget that, you have certainly been living abroad for too long.
7. You start to disparage Nigerians to other foreigners and refer to them as they: For example; these Nigerians are terrible drivers, or, they cannot be trusted. As if you are not a Nigerian yourself. Don’t get me wrong, it is perfectly fine to point out the flaws of other Nigerians but not to foreigners and certainly not as “others”, or referring to them in the 3rd person when the person is standing right there and you are talking to them. This is typical us versus them mentality and is definitely the biggest red flag of all. It’s a sure sign that; not only have you been abroad for too long but you have been completely brainwashed.
Recognise any of these signs? Then you definitely know what I'm talking about. By the way, I am not judging - or at least trying not to - but these things need to be said every now and then. It's important that we always remember who we are and where we come from.
Jan 25, 2019
